Question to ask when you start dating
Unfortunately, men and women are wired differently. Not only are we different because of our genders, but we’re different because each person’s past experience helps mold their expectations and each person’s past experience is different. You’ll get a taste of what drives them, what gives their life meaning and significance. It’s always nice to know what the other person views as ideal in their eyes. Let them name the top three qualities that are non-negotiable. What have you learned from your past relationships?
If the woman makes this “big move” first, does it make a guy squirm…or run? The ignorance evident in The Stupid Question makes it no less offensive.If the relationship progresses, you can offer to get tested together and be present for the test results of one another.And that is the alternative to The Stupid Question.An interesting social marketing campaign has been created by a new organization known as The Stigma Project, which aims to reduce stigma by calling out questions like “Are You Clean?Yes, you can share each other’s different interests, but that’s why you need to ask this question, to see if you would enjoy adapting to their interests or if they would enjoy adapting to yours. You’d be surprised with the answers to this question.
As humans, we assume that people have the same expectations that we do. Here you get a taste of what motivates the other person.
Perhaps they are sincerely trying to assess the level of risk they might be taking. In my more hedonistic days — which admittedly were not exactly long ago in a galaxy far, far away — I was dumbstruck by the conversations I would have in gay public sex venues, even the most anonymous ones. ” would come the question by the gentleman who was fully prepared to engage in unsafe sex should my answer please him. ” I would then explain, spoken at times through a three-inch hole in the wall, that if this question was his sole criteria, then he really needed to leave this place and go directly to an HIV and STD testing center. Can we please remove this insulting, dangerous and unproductive question from our lexicon? You can simply offer your HIV status and see if your partner does the same.
Anyone who questions whether or not HIV stigma is on the rise need look no further than online profiles and hookup sites, in which “Are you clean? Or perhaps you have suffered the indignity of someone asking you “The Stupid Question” while negotiating a tryst. Implying that I am somehow “dirty” because I am HIV positive may not be the intention of the person asking the question. Like it or not, it is an assessment of the sexual viability of someone, and by extension, their “worthiness” as a human being. You’re going to take the word of someone in a dark room that you couldn’t pick out of a lineup?
We know that saying it, to some extent, is a demonstration of our commitment to her and that we’re not going anywhere. If you say it first, then it’s like you’re forcing that implied commitment, in a way.
And even if a guy does love you, he will feel to an extent that he’s being pressured.
Ensure that you don't make assumptions, and avoid embarrassing candidates by using the following questions.