Dating with hiv
Oh what a different world it would be if we all knew how to navigate the tricky and treacherous battlefield that is the gay dating scene.Not only must we face the same plights and perils of the hetero single soldiers, but we must also face the cold reality of a much smaller dating pool, our exes dating other exes and an unrealistic image of what it is to be shirtless.
All of a sudden, the pressure is on for this date to turn into a mate, regardless of personal interests or compatibility.“Dating with HIV, seriously or casually, is hard — even though it doesn’t have to be,” wrote the Temple University graduate.“I am HIV positive, but it is undetectable.” That means Fratti — who takes an antiretroviral drug every day— cannot transmit the virus.As a reluctant HIV-positive activist, I am often bombarded with the secret misgivings of closeted HIV-positive men from across the country.No matter how much or how little they know about HIV or how short or how long they have been living with the virus, there seems to be only one singular concern on their mind: They are afraid of being rejected by a potential love interest because of their HIV status. Someone is going to shut you down before they get to know you because you are living with HIV.“I was in shock that simply sleeping with probably close to a hundred men throughout my 20s …
and not being strict about using condoms could have such a serious consequence.”In the piece, Fratti, now 33, reveals that as a heterosexual white woman she didn’t believe she was at risk for contracting the virus.
There are some people who are either blindly fearful of anything in the gay community with a plus sign attached to it or, for whatever reason, shallow enough to reject you because of the social stigma that comes with the package.
Either way, you might as well be reciting the national anthem of Ethiopia, because his ears turned off the second you said "HIV." REJECTED.
So sometimes it is best talk to a stranger before you can catch your breath and find your words for your family and friends. And I went wah, wah, wah into my wine glass all through the night.
Although I am no psychotherapist, I can definitely relate and empathize with a myriad of fears that flood a person’s headspace when they first receive the news. Truth is, once I picked myself out of my puddle of tears, I was relatively unaltered.
After all, you don’t disclose all of the dirty details of your life on a first date, what makes your status any different. Those dirty details are the layers of who you are as a person and they are revealed as a relationship develops.