I had the chance to link up with someone who specializes in helping men live a life they want to live and someone who has built her success based on the principle of honesty.
But it’s not hard to see that these “objective” standards which I easily recognized have deep parallels to systems of oppression. Desirability politics deal with the questions of how social ideals for attractiveness can have a pull, and how one can also pull back.How do some of us find ourselves knee-deep in a world we despise? Take it from someone who's seen rejection and failure one too many times in life -- my job I despised, the girls I've always wanted but never got, the uncertainty in myself and my future, the constant need for validation.I've pretended to be someone I'm not or someone I should be because I either told myself or I let someone influence me into believing that's "how you look good on paper" or that's what girls want to hear or this is the way life is supposed to be in order to stay in line.It’s the idea that desire is political – both affected by and simultaneously shaping systems of power and oppression.Though beauty standards have pretty great consistency within cultures, they have high variability cross-culturally.Kezia Noble is the world's leading female dating expert for men, a bestselling published author, and You Tube star with nearly 50 million views on her channel.
But my friend was referencing only physical attractiveness, which, curiously, most of us mean exclusively when we use the term.
When status profiles were manipulated and accompanied with photographs of faces, the pattern of differences between homosexuals and heterosexuals supported the self-reported results.
Overall, homosexual men and women have similar mate preferences to heterosexual men and women by showing more dating desire for attractive and high social status persons.
Why did my friend genuinely want my partner to meet those standards?
While the complex and mostly internal process of attraction makes it difficult for some of us to ever begin acknowledging desirability politics, it is an integral step in unpacking how beauty and attraction become tools of oppression. My sexual orientation was explained away with the idea that I was “born this way.” I couldn’t help whom I liked.
While going out for drinks one night, Yu-rim suddenly tells Hong that he wants to have sex with her. And so begins a battle of will and wits, both between each other and within themselves, as both Yu-rim and Hong are unsure of what each other wants and what they want themselves.