Dating after emotional abuse
Up, down, high, low, good, bad, black, white, push, pull.Emotional abuse takes a heavy toll on our hearts and minds, planting lies in our psyche that, left untended, can last long after the roller coaster is over.
But months or years later, our ongoing behavior and character transformations can help to shed some light on what really needs our attention.Someone who miraculously likes everything you like, some one who appears at first to try to please you every step of the way.This is often how it starts the victim walks around on cloud 9 thinking some how they have won in the relationship lotto that they are sooo lucky to have found such an amazing person, they understandably quickly fall in love.It has taken me a long time to decide if I should write a blog on the topic of emotional abuse or not, after all I’m not a doctor I’m not a counselor , I’m simple a divorced women who through my website Dreams has become a kind of Divorce expert.Mostly I just listen, I think at times this is all any one wants is to be heard, to be validated, to know they are not alone.“Normal” people often don’t stand a chance at not getting sucked into this relationship dynamic.
People don’t realize that this emotional abuse in a relationship doesn’t start straight away, there is ALWAYS the honeymoon phase where these abusers are on their best behaviors, they are often, bright, ridiculously charming, flattering and like most humans we love that feeling of attention, having someone miraculously tell you everything that you want to hear.
Well I will tell you, you are certainly not alone, it’s a very common story I think that equally effects men and women.
Both sexes I believe have an equal chance of ending up in emotionally abusive relationships.
Here are five signs that suggest you might still be suffering from the lingering effects of emotional abuse: You isolate yourself, becoming more an observer of the world than a participant. You don't feel bad — but you don't feel good either. Even when you know you should be happy, it's like there's a tight guard around your heart at all times, preventing anything from going in or out.
This can feel hopeless — like you're permanently damaged and unable to feel emotions normally.
To try to understand this phenomenon, I interviewed Lauren, her ex, and several of their friends, and I reviewed extensive transcripts of Google chats between Lauren and her friends at the time she and her ex were dating.