America dating in
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What I realized with Americans is that if you make out with them the way we do in Brazil, they get the wrong idea. ” He tried to sound really nice as he was asking me what was the point in “this.” So American, right? The first time I went on a date with an American guy I was so nervous because I felt like we had no intimacy whatsoever. For me, dating is meeting a 20 year-old that is a friend of a friend at a bar, thinking he’s cute, and then your friend making things happen. And then you still don’t go on a date, you say things like: “Everyone’s going to that bar on Friday, will you be there? It’s harder to meet people here — they’re anti-social.That explains why one of my good friends is having such a rough time navigating the dating scene in San Francisco—an ultraliberal city with super independent women.(I’ve lived there for many years and never plan to return.)For a while, he was going out with a 33-year-old woman.I come from Moscow, Russia, and this is my third year in the United States.I was an exchange student in Colorado, where I got a chance to graduate from high school, and this year I am starting my junior year at Cornell College in Iowa.He comes from a similar tech background that I do, but said goodbye to that horrible Corporate America life and has lived abroad for quite a few years now.
I was parsing through some of his posts the other night, and ran across one titled ‘Why American Dating Is Nothing More Than A Frustrating Exercise In Futility‘, which really struck home after my recent experiences in Colombia.
I’m always scared that they’re going to assume that kissing is anything more than “I’m kind of interested in you.”The first guy I went out with here, while we were making out he asked me, “Should I get a condom? I hope so.” I don’t know why I would put myself through the experience of being forced to talk to someone, but not even knowing if you like them. And I don’t know if I want to hook up with anyone in my circles.
” and I was like “No, we’re not having sex,” and I kept making out with him. I think that in Brazil I wouldn’t care, but here it’s complicated.
People don’t say publicly that they are just in it for the sex.
Relationships like that are generally frowned upon and condemned.
NIGERIA“I’m sometimes taken aback by the hook-up culture here and how people are able to be intimate with people they just met 2 seconds ago. In Nigeria, when you would get hit on, mostly a guy would come up to you and say he wanted to be your friend, not like ‘I think you’re pretty, let’s go out.’ Guys do walk up to you in Nigeria but they try to hide their motives.“In Nigeria, many types of men can be possessive (mostly the ones raised with no form of outside influence) and feel like they should have a say in your life.