5 questions to ask before dating
A man and woman face each other across a table at a downtown bistro, looking nervous and awkward. There is a stiff formality to the way they sit—no slouching. It remains to be seen if it will pick up speed, gain altitude, and soar skyward . Sometimes they lead to burning love; sometimes they go down in flames. All the observable and obvious clues: They are nicely groomed—stylish, but not overdone. As would-be romances go, this plane is very slow to leave the gate and get onto the runway. or if it will lose engine power and sit on the tarmac indefinitely. It’s true that first dates can be one of the most nerve-wracking, anxiety-producing situations in our society.
If you’re deciding whether to give it a shot with that cute coworker, ask yourself these questions first before you make a move.Should the relationship evolve, there will be plenty of time to get into weighty topics. When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy. In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not. When you’re sitting in a cubicle or working the register next to an attractive person all day, every day, it’s almost inevitable that sparks will fly.Not everyone will act on it, but the thought of romancing a hottie at work has probably passed through nearly every employee’s mind.The two pick at their dinner salads, staring down at the leafy mound before them. Finally, one of them tries to grease the wheels of conversation. Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly.
But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part.
My best friend was marrying her best friend and, although she and I had met, we really didn't know each other. Nearly 20 years later, I know falling in love with her was the best decision I ever made.
By the end of our best friends' wedding weekend, she and I were dating. Looking back, I could have been assured falling in love with her was a wise decision a lot sooner if I had asked myself five simple questions.
That’s a relatively normal scenario—people have even coined the term “work husband/wife” to describe the pseudo-romantic friendships that develop in the office.
But actually acting on your feelings can be a tricky and somewhat risky situation, personally and professionally.
“People can become attracted to each other in the workplace when they see coworkers successfully completing tasks, especially when that task takes a high level of skill,” Kerulis explains.